The other day, I can't remember when, but, my 16 years old brother asked me for my help with his guided-writing essay homework. The theme is actually really interesting. It's about "How To Be A Good Friend". First of all, I tried to help him with the first paragraph about what is friendship, the definition of friendship and so on. I write almost everything I could think of. I just really love this theme. To me, friendship is something really important to everybody.
Then, suddenly my bro ask me, "Is that even a paragraph?" Oops.. Sorry bro! Got carried away! Too long for just a paragraph. Then, I cut some sentences to make it a simple one paragraph. It's just a guided-writing essay for form 4 students, so, I guess it's just a short essay of 2 1/2 pages.. I think..
Talking about friendship? What is friendship? How to be a good friend? This was always my worst nightmare in my school life. In my opinion, this is not a small matter. Friends do important. Don't take it lightly. Some could even pursue a suicide just because they don't have any friends or betrayed by their friends. Of course, that's what I heard in the overseas. I don't know if it does happen in Malaysia. Well, I'm a Muslim. We don't have the right to take our own live rather than Allah the Almighty only..
In my opinion, a good friend is someone who you can laugh out loud together without having the need to cover it just because you think your laughing face look hideous. No courtesy nor politeness is needed. I can be me. My own true self. Without the fear of judgement of my clothes, my way of speaking, my academic achievement or my look. They accept me for being who I am. They will be there for me when I need them. They will listen to my problems with care. I guess it's too much to ask.. because until now, I think, I've only found a few persons in my life that fit these descriptions.. although, I'm grateful for their existences.. Alhamdulillah..
How to be a good friend? Well, let see..
Never have high expectations on your friends. Don't expect them to be smart, nice, patience or anything all the time cause no human is perfect. This could lead to them being paranoid about themselves. For example, she always praise me for being strong so, I can't cry in front of her. No! True friends exists for both good and bad times. True friends accept you for who you are. She's stupid in Math? Then so be it. Help her! Guide her! Train her!
Loyalty. This is one of my life's rule book and insyaAllah I'll always keep this, never talk behind your friend's back. I hate it. I don't like it. Discussing about my own friend behind their back with others is just not right. If your friend share something about their personal problems, don't share or discuss it with others. If people start to gossiping about them, prepare yourself to stand up for them. Always stand up for them! Even if they did wrong, talk and discuss with them, change them for the better, not humiliate them.
Giving a helping hand. Apply to youngsters at schools. Help your friends with study. Teach them with patience because it's not like they can understand it after the seconds of hearing it. No human is the same. You might can get it like a snap but some of your friends might just be too dumb or slow to get it. If you already try and it didn't work, then, try to get helps from others. Don't insult or ignore them when they ask for your help. I hate these type of peoples. They ignore you like you're some passerby that's not worth their time and yes, it's already happen to me for a few times and I felt really stupid at that time and it's the worse feelings ever..
Lending your ears. Please do this right! Every humans have problems and they just want someone to be by their sides to listen to them. They didn't ask for helps, money or anything. They just want you to listen. Don't cut them halfway! Don't judge them before they finish! Don't take things lightly! Don't make jokes out of it because it's serious! Don't push them aside like it is something insignificant! Give all your focus to them. Show them you care. You'll be surprise on how much comfort you can give to them just by doing that. It'll make them felt like some huge burdens on their shoulder have just been lifted. They will feel so much better. More importantly, they will feel appreciated, loved and cared.
Jokes. Okay, some people might like to tease their friends but please do not cross the lines. Just don't! You might can handle teasing but some people just can't. It can make them feel down and hurt them badly inside. Please don't be so oblivious... Light jokes are nice but jokes like "you're fat" or "you're ugly".. Your face is so asking for a highfive..
Well, all of these are based on my experiences. I barely have good memories regarding friendship during my school days. Ever since in elementary school and primary school, I barely have any friends. Even if I do have friends, I might be just their second choices. Right now, remember back when I was a kid, I felt like some useless people chasing for someone just because of my kid's desire to have friends.
Alhamdulillah, my secondary school experience did turn much more better than the last one but still, somewhere in my heart, I still feel incomplete. If I need to choose which year is the best for me, I would say my last year as a Form 5 student. I got the best 27 classmates and an awesome form teacher ever. Such a truly nice ending to my painful school memories.
Other than that, I also do have some friends from the Italy and Philippines which I contact through Tumblr and never have the chance to met them but yeah, I love them! They're awesome! I don't know but sometimes I feel like talking to them are much easier than talking to my own Malaysian friends.. :p
Well, overall, I love every each of my friends.. either my Malaysian friends or my overseas friends.. like I said.. friends are important.. don't take them for granted..
Have a picture of me and my awesome classmates (5 Inovatif 2013, JESS, batch 1996).. ^-^
That's all from me for today..
May Allah bless,